Asperger’s and the Holidays

In my private practice I’ve noticed a trend. Around November, old, current and new clients call wanting to schedule sessions to talk about one topic: the holidays. The trend is not surprising: most therapists find themselves busy at this time of year, when expectations and realities can clash, and even the most mature find themselves stuck in teenager roles and feelings long since discarded.

But for a therapist who counsels adults with Asperger’s the increase in client need may be surprising to some. Aren’t Aspies supposed to be unconcerned with the judgments of others, even family members? Don’t Aspies face holiday family time with few, if any, expectations for intimacy or fun? Don’t Aspies who find themselves alone during the holidays consider their solitude a “Get Free Out of Jail” card, rather than a reason for loneliness or depression? After all, Aspies don’t really seek out relationships, right? If any of these assumptions sound familiar to you, beware of the Aspie Stereotype, which pervades media (think “Rainman”), research teams (think “Yale”), pop culture (think SNL’s “Nick Burns: The computer Guy”) and even some therapist circles (not me!).

Contrary to popular notions regarding Asperger’s, many clinicians, those who work in the trenches with adults struggling with the challenges of Asperger’s, find their Aspie clients confused and overwhelmed by the holidays. Most of us harbor conscious or unconscious expectations about the holidays – how they should feel, who they should be spent with, how tall the tree should be, who should host dinner…the list can go on. A lack of awareness of one’s own “rules” regarding the holidays can set the stage for confusion, disappointment, impulse coping skills and depression. If you have Asperger’s, you may be surprised at your own “automatic” answers to questions such as:

Should holidays be spent with friends or family? Should loved ones exchange gifts, or not? Who should travel where for the holiday celebration? Tinsel, or lights? While these questions may seem trivial, they’re not – and often they shed light on our automatic thoughts that go unchallenged and cause problems. For instance, if your “rule” is that Christmas or Hanukkah is a commercialized money-making holiday to benefit department stores, you may refuse to participate, and thus miss genuine opportunities to connect with loved ones. If you automatically decree that holidays should be spent with family or friends, you may miss the comfort that solitude can bring you.

Please don’t fall into the trap of trying to live up to what you think “normal holidays” (an oxymoron) should be like. Holidays for Aspies are often riddled with “shoulds”, which trigger resentment and resistance. Adults with Asperger’s who give themselves permission to meet their own unique needs for togetherness and solitude, fun and rest, engagement and disengagement, often find themselves less pressured, less anxious and more accepting of themselves and others. This balanced approach can prevent total shutdown mode, which is a natural response to over stimulation and helplessness.

Here are some tips Aspies may find helpful:

Plan for taking breaks during visits. Examples are taking a walk outside, taking a nap with a book, taking some quiet time for deep breathing, taking a quick ride or offering to run an errand in the car, playing a video game with someone or alone, or announcing a time-out and removing yourself from the group.

Schedule realistically. Over scheduling during the holidays can lead to burnout when being around people is gratifying, but stressful (or just plain difficult). While it’s great to push yourself to socialize, the holidays are a time to be reasonable – don’t expect yourself to go from no parties to three or four in a month. Beware of the lure of substance use. Many of us rely on the cocktail or two to help ease party anxiety. While there may not be too much harm in this, most clinicians see a surge in substance use during the holidays, which can lead to hangovers, a shaken sense of self, embarrassment, or worse. Remember that as long as you’re using substances to quell the anxiety, you’re not truly growing in your ability to handle social situations.

Be extra kind to yourself. This sounds corny, and it is. But think about it: we spend so much time during the holidays thinking about giving to others (or avoiding it!), but how much do we think about truly giving to ourselves? This is the time to use kind words and actions to take care of yourself. Ideas include buying or checking out a new book, going to the movies alone, eating a favorite meal, spending quiet time petting the cat. Seek help if you need to. Holiday therapy can be a temporary bridge to January 2! Here’s to your success in creating a holiday this year that you can anticipate with groundedness and optimism.

Tips For Planning A Great Senior Trip

Finishing high school is a very important achievement, and really a privilege – there are many areas of the world that the average person does not get the opportunity to go to high school.

If you’re like most high school seniors, you want to celebrate your success with an exciting trip. Good idea! Here are a few tips that will help you plan a senior trip to remember!

The first question to decide is where to go. If you’re going with your class, you’ll have to make a joint decision. If you’re going with your parents or friends, the decision might involve fewer parties, which is generally a good thing! If you’re going with a large group, ensure that you pick a destination that will make everyone happy.

The next decision to make is what accommodations you’ll stay at once you get to your destination. This can be very difficult, especially from a distance, but travel agents and travel websites can be a great help here. Be sure that you choose a place that is not only nice and offers the amenities that you want, but is also safe. Safety should be a very important consideration when choosing accommodations.

Food you can often work out day by day once you arrive at your destination, but activities and entertainment you’ll want to do some research on ahead of time. Contact the local chamber of commerce, a knowledgeable travel agent, or someone who has been to the area. Decide what attractions you’d like to visit, then find out what you need to do/have etc to enjoy these attractions. For example, if you want to go jet skiing while you are in Cancun, ensure that you have proper clothes!

Also, you should seriously consider taking a responsible adult with you on your senior trip, especially if you are going overseas. Their wisdom and experience could help you stay safe and have fun!

Deep Sea Fishing Tips

Fishing in the deep sea is an amazing experience that once tried you will never forget. Here are some tips that will help you to enjoy your trip even more.

1. Watch what the sea and its wildlife are telling you

If you see birds, such as gulls, hovering over an area of water, pay attention. There is a strong likelihood that there are smaller fish that are used by fishermen for bait in the immediate area. This shows that there will be larger fish under the surface of the water. Driftwood is another sign of larger fish in the area. Follow these simple indications and you will be landing fish in no time.

2. Watch out for snooks hiding places

If you are on the lookout for snooks on your fishing trip, remember to look underneath ledges as they are a favorite hiding place for them. Snooks are very similar in their habits to bass.

3. Use crabs during a full moon

Crabs tend to shed their skins during the full moon. So when fishing during a full moon, try using soft crab imitations for your bait. This will entice stripers out of their hiding places to look for the crabs.

4. Find dolphins when fishing for tuna

If you are fishing for tuna, particularly yellowfin, the best way to spot them is to look for dolphins. Tuna school with them, so if you see dolphins you can bet that tuna won’t be far away. Just be sure to be careful that you don’t land a dolphin by accident since they are a protected species and must be treated with respect.

5. Burn, don’t cut

If you find that you can’t cut your line, try burning through it instead. You will find it is much easier to do and avoid being cut if your scissors slip.

6. Fish near a reef.

If you haven’t tried it before, fish near a reef. You will be surprised at the number of large fish that are feeding on smaller fish that live on a reef.

7. Raise your chances with a Circle Hook

If you would like to raise your hook up quota, opt for a circle hook. They will increase your catches due to their make up. And you will find removing the hook easier as it will not stick in the fish gut.

8. Find your sea legs

If you find that you are suffering from sea sickness try watching the horizon. It may sound silly but try to stay on deck if you can. Staying downwind of fumes is also advisable as they can make you feel worse.

9. Anchor trouble

If you discover that you cannot raise your anchor after dropping, use a float attached to it. By noting when the tide turns you should be able to free the anchor and set sail once again.

10. Find the fish in order to fish successfully

If you thought that you should be catching your live bait first and then moving away from the reef to catch more fish, think again. If you stay near the live bait, you increase your chances of catching the larger fish that are feeding on them.

Travel Tips – Documents to be Carried While Traveling

While traveling outside US, documentation is an important part of your trip. Outside US and even in other States, you and your luggage are recognized by your documents. Carrying proper travel related documents and identity proofs could help you avoid unnecessary jitters.

The best international travel tips is to carry original copy of some documents and keep one or two photocopies of the other in case of emergency. You should also leave a copy of your documents with some friends, which they can fax to you if you loose yours. Ask your travel agent or friends who have gone to those destinations about the necessary travel tips for documents.

Vacations and Business travel Tips

Whether you are on fun, business or a personal trip, the important documents required while traveling outside US are: Passport, Visa, Driving License, Medical Certificates and Insurance documents. A passport is an internationally recognized travel document that verifies the identity and nationality of the bearer.

A valid U.S. passport is required to enter and leave most foreign countries. The Passport Services Office provides information and services to American citizens about how to obtain, replace or change a passport. To obtain a passport for the first time, you need to go in person to passport acceptance facilities with your two photographs, proof of U.S. citizenship, and a valid form of photo identification such as driver’s license and apply for the passport. You can seek travel tips for documents from your friends and acquaintances that have traveled to those destinations.

Airline Travel Tips and Visa Requirements

Most countries require a visa before you can travel there. You can board on aircraft only if you have a valid visa and return air ticket for the destination. Few countries allow free passage to US Citizens. However, it is mandatory to carry a valid identification proof with you in these countries to avoid legal complications and prove your identity in case of emergency. It is the responsibility of travelers to obtain Visa, where required, from the appropriate embassy or nearest consulate of the country you are planning to visit. Certain countries have proper validation requirements for Visa applications take some time before approving your visa. It is therefore necessary to obtain the visa well in advance to avoid last minute problems.

Luggage Documentation Tips

If you are carrying valuable and electronic items, good travel tips is to keep a copy of the invoice, insurance and troubleshooting manuals with you while you are traveling. While invoice and insurance are needed to prove your ownership, a manual will help the technicians if some problem occurs in it. These documents will also help you to avail international warranty and service facilities wherever applicable.

Travel insurance tips

Most countries require the foreign tourists covered up with insurance before they enter the country. However, insurance during travel is a critical issue due to legal differences between two countries. Contact your insurance company to find if the present insurance covers the foreign trips or not. Even your travel agent can help you with important travel insurance tips.

Holiday Tips For Bird Safety – 5 Ways to Keep Your Bird Safe During the Holidays

Keeping your bird safe is a lifelong commitment that probably will need a little extra attention with the arrival of the holidays. Here are 5 things to do to make sure your bird has a safe and happy holiday with you and your family.

Keep the Routine Normal

Try to keep your bird’s routine as close to normal as possible by maintaining feeding, cage cleaning, hygiene rountine, and its interaction with your family the same. Keeping the bird’s schedule low-key and on track will prevent anxiety in your bird which can sometimes lead to health issues signaled by symptoms such as feather plucking, aggression, shrieking, loss of appetite, and change in elimination habits.

Provide Adequate Darkness

Birds need between 10 and 12 hours of darkness each day to stay healthy. Even though you may stay up late at night, and get up early in the morning more frequently as the holidays approach, your bird still needs its beauty rest. Use a cage cover to insure your bird gets enough down time to stay healthy.

Prevent All Contact with Decorations

A decorated tree is probably the first place a bird will fly. This is to be avoided as the wires could cause the bird to be hung if he is unable to untangle himself, and many of the ornamental decorations used on the tree that might usually be a part of the bird’s diet in the wild are made from substances that are toxic if ingested.

Cage Your Bird during Parties

Having your bird in its cage during holiday parties is the safest place it can be. This will prevent your bird from encountering dangerous situations such as drowning in a punch bowl, being burned by a hot coffee urn or eating people food that is likely to be on the table and is known to be fatal to birds such as chocolate, alcoholic beverages, sweet, and salty snacks to name a few.

Use an Air Purifier to Avoid Respiratory Problems

Birds have very delicate respiratory systems which are easily overtaxed with perfumes, scented candles, odors from the kitchen and overheating of pots and pans (particularly Teflon) at any time during the year. Using an air purifier to keep indoor air quality high is a good idea throughout the year, but especially during the holidays. Be alert about the number of odors that are introduced into your home and keep the exposure to an absolute minimum to avoid respiratory complications in your bird and worse. Using a purifier to filter your bird’s air will insure that your bird, and you are breathing the cleanest air possible.

Travel Tips & Advice

Notify Family, Friends and Relatives

Before leaving on holiday, make sure that you give all travel information to your family and close friends. If anything should happen while travelling, multiple people know where you are and have a better chance of getting a hold of you and others who might need to reach you. Prepare photocopies of your passport, airline tickets, accommodation booking form. It might also help if you leave telephone numbers of where you are stopping just in case anyone needs to get in touch with you urgently.

Do you have a valid Visa and/or passport?

ALWAYS check your passport and ensure that you renew your visa or apply for one before departing. Make sure your passport does not expire within 6 months of your date of travel. A large majority of countries insist that your passport be valid for at least that time period or a year. Make a copy, in case you lose it while on vacation, you can send the copy to your Embassy.

E111 Medical form.

Still thousands of UK holidaymakers go on holiday without getting a signed E111 form from your local medical practitioner. This form is free and means that whilst you are in a country which is a member of the European community you will receive free or subsidised medical treatment. Be warned through this does not mean you are covered for return flights, transfers from destination to hospital, and pharmacy costs.

Travel Insurance

Millions of holidaymakers worldwide go on holiday WITHOUT travel insurance. How crazy can you people be, for the sake of completing a quick form, or telephone conversation you can be covered for any event whilst on holiday. It is so important that people get back in to the habit of buying travel insurance. The decline in holidaymakers taking out insurance is due to the increase in independent travelling, many UK travel agents insisted that you took out travel insurance as part of your booking.

Confirm your Reservations

Be sure your airline tickets and vacation rental booking is confirmed, otherwise you may have an unpleasant experience if the owners of the property are out of the country and have not left the keys. Visit the airport website, or if you are in the UK look on ceefax, or teletext for the latest flight departures and arrivals from UK airports to find if your plane is on time, back that up with a telephone conversation with the airline.

Location of the Vacation Rental

When making your booking, you may want to find out if the property is located near a hospital, chemist, police station etc. These services are great in an emergency, and it’s always good to know your way around before you arrive. You will find that most owners will have some literature about local doctors, chemists etc you never know what may happen whilst on holiday.

Buy a Destination Guide / Language dictionary.

Get yourself some travel books to know all the best spots, cheapest restaurants, best food, and hundreds of insights about your destination. You may want to write down some notes from the travel book relevant to the area you are visiting rather than taking the entire book with you to cut down on weight. Most importantly get a language translation dictionary and carry it with you. Learn a few essential terms in the native language of the country you are travelling to. People will appreciate and be a lot more helpful if you at least make an effort, it can also help you in an emergency.

Luggage Advice

Place photocopies of your identification in your luggage to help your airline or cruise ship to return it if lost while travelling. Another good idea is to get some masking, insulation tape or stickers and put it all over the suitcase, the worst start to a holiday would be to loose your luggage or get it taken by accident because its identical to another holidaymakers. Use your own padlocks instead of the padlocks supplied with suitcases. It is usually safer. Remember to keep the key(s) in your carry-on luggage., don’t do what I did and leave the keys in the suitcase!

Photocopy your Identifying Documents

Photocopy all documents and cards and store it in a secret place in your suitcase. If your wallet is ever stolen, you will know exactly what you have lost and will have all the telephone numbers to call to cancel credit cards and the credit card numbers, etc. at your fingertips. Or instead of photocopying all your important documents and carrying them with you, you can scan everything and email the images to your email account or family and friends as attachments.

Airport Transfers

Don’t forget to try and arrange your transfer to the vacation property before you set off. Worse thing that can happen is that it’s 11pm, and there’s no buses, and you have to pay a fortune for a hour drive to your accommodation. Most owners will have a contact for airport transfers, or there own management company will pick you up, there’s a charge, but it’s certainly cheaper than local taxi companies… it’s also safer.

Cash Safety.

Think of this scenario. You’ve just got to your hotel, and you see a nice bar over the road, you go to your pocket to get all of your foreign currency, and it’s not there! Your in a strange country, with a strange language and it’s your first day on a holiday you’ve been paying for all year. Please remember travellers cheques, order them before you go and you will not be in this scenario.

This article is not written to scare you but to put your mind on the important issues you will face when booking and organising your next vacation rental holiday. The best holidays I have had are ones where I have organised them myself.

Have fun.. but more importantly… BE SAFE!

Tips For Successful Day Hiking Trips

Hiking, backpacking, trails, hiking boots, outdoors, wildlife, flora, fauna, GPS, compass, water, snacks

Individuals, couples, and families can take day hiking trips, a perfect opportunity to get away for quality time and fun but without spending a fortune. Taking a few precautions will ensure a fun and safe trip.

Although hiking for a week would be wonderful, with the current economy, there are a growing number of people who will head out and spend a full day doing nothing but hiking. In addition to being fun, hiking is great exercise and a wonderful way to clear the mind in the beautiful outdoors. When trying to get away from the hustle and bustle of daily life, day hiking trips are an ideal solution.

The following are helpful tips for a successful trip, getting the most from all day hiking trips.

Heading out Early

Start by heading out early. The earlier someone can start day hiking trips the more time there is to enjoy the outdoors. While it might seem early, if a person or persons can get on the trail at 4:00 am, they will benefit in a number of ways.

For one, there would be the chance to reach further trails, see wildlife that might not be out later in the day, have the opportunity to watch the rising of the sun, and avoid heavy crowds on popular trails. For high altitudes, leaving early would get the person to the summit by 11:00 am, allowing plenty of time to explore and enjoy the beautiful views before heading back down.

Keep it Simple

An important tip for day hiking trips is to keep backpacks light and simple. Because this is only a day trip, people need to carry only what is absolutely necessary to include food, clothing, flashlight, GPS or compass, water, and first-aid items. The light load will make hiking the trails easier, which allows people to venture out onto more difficult trails.

Keeping a Pace

Even though day hiking trips are for a single day, people need to find a good pace and then keep to it. This does not have to be high speed but just consistent. A common problem found with many beginner hikers is going fast and then having to rest often. Instead, the individual will enjoy the adventure far more by moving at a consistent pace and making fewer stops.

Food Items and Water

For day hiking trips, some food will need to be taken but this should be healthy, light, and food that increases energy. Great options include dried fruit, trail mix, health bars, and even a good, old-fashioned peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Of course, water is key for day hiking trips or any trips.

One option for people who want to climb high during day hiking trips but who do not want to carry an abundance of weight, they can take with them yellow flags and extra bottles. Then, as they make their way up the trail, they can place bottles along the trail with yellow flag markers. That way, when they come back down, they do not have the extra weight but still have ample water.

Safety Tips For Motorcycle Road Trips

“Safety first” is a golden rule that each of us needs to live by whenever we undertake recreational activities. It does not matter whether it is a skate board ride or a nighttime stroll that we are taking. Because the chances of accidents during recreational activities are high, we ought to take precautions aimed at minimizing their chances of occurrence. Basic precautions eliminate accidents by preventing mistakes.

Below mentioned are few protection tips that could make your motorcycle road trips secure and most enjoyable:

1. Before setting off for a road trip check your motorcycle:

Before you leave for your road trip, it is essential that you check whether your motorcycle is in proper working condition. You will realize that in rural areas, receiving signals on your mobile phone is difficult so you may not be able to seek help. You should therefore ensure that before you hit the road, your motorcycle undergoes several routine checks to ensure that it is hit & fit for the trip.

2. Watch for animals:

The experience of riding in rural areas could be exciting, with the fresh air and beautiful landscapes. You also get the freedom to meander your way through the roads which are often open. Nevertheless, you should not forget that there are animals that live in these areas and you need to be keen. This is their home and you are likely to encounter a leaping deer or a scurrying possum once in a while. Remember that we need to live in harmony with the animals which have always been there before us.

3. For your safety wear safety gear:

Even though wearing of helmets by young motorcycle riders is only required by seventeen states, helmets play a huge role in reducing crash fatalities. The fact that helmets decrease the danger in case of an accident by over 1/3rd should be reason enough for you to wear a helmet. The helmet should meet specific safety standards and the use of toy army elements cannot be considered as protection. The use of boots, gloves and body wear is also advisable. Since motorcycle riding exposes you to possible accidents, so it is better that you protect yourself.

4. Observe the road signs:

The stunning landscapes are bound to attract your attention when you are on a motorcycle road trip. You might as well enjoy this but be wary of road signs. These will not only give you important information such as changes in speed limits but also alert you on hazards such as curvy roads, crossing moose or even falling rocks.

5. For some elements wear elements:

There is a possibility of weather changes during the trip making it vital for you to prepare for such occurrences. The weather could be rainy, windy, sleety or snowy. Temperatures could also be extreme so that before leaving, you should pack all the necessary clothing to cater for any type of weather. You can dress in layers which help you to keep off hyperthermia and heat exhaustion when you remove or add clothing according to the weather.

Just like in all other activities, safety should be made a priority when taking a motorcycle road trip. Luckily, we can stay safe by following simple guidelines as we maneuver through rural roads and endless highways. Good Luck and have a happy road trip!

Traveling Made Easy

Traveling these days certainly can be a hassle. Everything from long lines to airline delays can cause travelers unnecessary and unfortunate inconveniences. Prior to your travels, considers the following ten tips and you will have a greater chance of limiting the hassles of traveling.

1. Know what to pack – Take some time to review the Transportation Security Administration’s “Permitted and Prohibited Items” list. You can find the list on the Transportation Security Administration Website located at

2. Call the airport ahead of time to verify flight times – Don’t rely on the airlines to notify you of delays or flight changes. Travelers can contact their airline directly or their travel agent to ensure their flight is on-schedule.

3. Be prepared and schedule proper time for travel to the airport – Traveling can cause anxiety, which causes travelers to forget necessary travel items. Consider all-inclusive travel kits to avoid forgetting the essential personal items.

4. Secure a seat assignment prior to check in – This will prevent unnecessary problems during over-booked flights.

5. Secure your valuables – Traveling continues to be one the top times that people fall victim to crime. Travelers should limit the amount of cash they carry and use credit or debit cards when possible. Credit and debit cards offer a higher level of protection than carrying cash.

6. Check the destination on your luggage tag – Ask the ticket agent or curb assistant to double check the tag on your luggage. This can prevent your luggage going somewhere other than where you will be!

7. Research your destination point – Travelers should research their destination point prior to traveling. Being familiar with major highways, climate, customs, and points of interest will help traveler avoid unnecessary situations.

8. Be aware of unclean hotel rooms – There have been rising complaints about unwelcome insects in hotel rooms, according to pest control businesses. Demand fresh sheets from hotel management or carry portable silk bed sheets. Additionally, inform hotel management if you find any insects or unwanted messes in your hotel room.

9. When traveling for business, compare the cost of renting a car to utilizing taxicabs or public transportation. Travelers may find it convenient to rent a car; however, rental car costs can sometimes include exuberant “extra” fees.

10. Remember your agenda – Traveling in new places can sometimes be distracting and take away from the purpose of the trip. While on business, make sure to write down the times and places of your business. This will help to ensure you are not late to business meetings.

Cheap Family Holiday Tips For Summer

With the rising temperature of summer season, rises the boredom, stress, frustration and the will to take a break from our everyday lives. But for most of us this ‘Break away trip’ is merely a recurring summer dream. Every year, thousands of people actually travel places to spend their summer holidays, and a hundred thousands who just reach as far as estimating the tour’s budget. It is true that a vacation trip is going to cost you a considerable amount of money but keeping a few things in mind will cut down that cost to your budget. has found out that a lot of expenditure on a summer trip is an unnecessary amount of money that people pay because they make a few mistakes in planning the trip. We have come up with few tips for you on how to cut down on those unnecessary expenses and realize your dream of a relaxing summer holiday.

1. Find a Hotel Yourself

What most of the holiday seekers start with is by contacting travel agents and then acting according to what they suggest. This limits the choice and flexibility in your vacation plan. You should do your homework yourself. You can find all kind of information online. Check out every possible hotel and then do the hotel price comparison yourself. A cheap hotel will still serve a good accommodation and you’ll have a lot more to do with your money.

2. Find the Perfect Deals on Hotels

Off season or high season, almost every hotel offers some kind of special deal for the customer. These deals on hotels can be a cut-cost, special passes to other activity areas or a special discount due to any reason. There are many last minute deals that are amazingly cheaper than booking in advance. Doing your research online can find you many such deals on hotels. You should find as many deals on hotels as you can, then again do the hotel price comparisons. You’d be amazed on how much more you can get in a much lesser cost.

3. The Right Time to go

You may not be able to find a perfect deal on hotels unless your timing is perfect. Now if you can’t go to a totally off season vacation, which however is the cheapest option, make sure that you plan your vacation during the very beginning or very end of the high season.

4. The Hard Cash

You know how hard earned your money is. Try to save every single bit of it. Use of Credit cards will cost you quite a few unnecessary pence each time. With the hard cash, you know that you are paying exactly what you need to pay. Another advantage of using this strategy is that you will refrain from going out with too much cash in your pocket and hence save a lot by not being able to do useless shopping.

5. Know your destination

You know where you are going. You know when you are going, you are done with hotels price comparison and you have chosen the best affordable deals on hotels. Now what is left is to get a little pre-acquainted the place you’re going to spend your next few days with.

Avoid wasting money and time going to places where you don’t have to. The secret again lies in doing your research before leaving. Find the attraction you really want to visit and save your money from getting wasted on unworthy places.